Updated: May 24
What are the values that means a lot to you in your friendship?
Have you ever reflected on what you seek in your friendships? What are the values that mean a lot to you?
1. Choose 3 – 5 adjectives / values that you seek in your friendships.
2. Who shows up in your friendship with those values?
The values I seek in my friendships are loyalty, open-mindedness, compassion, authenticity and well-wisher (there are obviously more, but those are the main ones at the moment). And, these are the values that are reflected in my friends and the relationship we have with one another.
3. Now, if I ask you to rank your friendship, in terms of priority. Who is first
In your priority list, who comes first?
Is it your partner, your mom, your dad, your kids, your best friend?
What did you say?
It should be YOU! If you did put yourself first in the list or even included yourself in the list, be extremely proud of yourself! When I initially did this, my list did not include me nor did i even think of putting me in the list.
To build purposeful relationship with others, we have to build a relationship with ourselves first. We have to be our own best friend / cheerleader / support !!!
Just like you are there for your friends and family, show up for yourself as well. Only you have the power to make yourself truly joyful, at peace and in balance. No one can do that for you, no one can show up for you exactly the way you need.
Throughout the years, we have been taught to be nice, to be respectful, to be compassionate and to love others. Unfortunately, we have never been taught the importance of being nice, being respectful, being compassionate and being loving to ourselves.
If we don’t revisit the habit of expecting validations from others or waiting for others to show up for us, we will live a life of pain, seeking acceptance, feeling unloved, unsupported and unappreciated. Can you find the strength to love yourself? As mentioned in the previous post, you have to love yourself unconditionally first. If not how can you expect to love someone else unconditionally?
If you are like me and you realize that whatever you’ve been doing your entire life, isn’t working anymore, it is time to unlearn and reparent ourselves. Let’s become our own best friend.
Expect the perfection of a best friend only from yourself, someone who is kind, respectful, compassionate and loving even when you mess up or simply for when you need those comforting words.
“When you are your own best friend, you don’t endlessly seek out relationships, friendships and validation from the wrong sources because you realize that the only approval you need is your own.”
— Mandy Hale
How to be your own best friend:
1. Praise and celebrate yourself
When you do something amazing or achieve that goal, praise yourself and celebrate yourself, instead of waiting for someone’s external validation of your achievement.
2. Accept yourself
Accept who you are, full heartedly, instead of judging yourself or being mean to yourself.
3. Learn your likes and dislikes
Just like you know your best friend/partner/family member’s likes and dislikes, get to know yours.
4. Have alone time and enjoy your own company
Do the things you want, have fun with yourself and replenish
5. Be kind to yourself everyday
Show love and respect to yourself in the little ways everyday
Love and gratitude always,