Why do we fall back into past patterns?
Do you ever feel like you are repeating situations / events / patterns from your past? Whether it is the partner that does not treat you well, the disrespectful manager, the work that takes over your life, burning out.
No matter how much you try to resolve the set of problems, they always come back. You focus on the problems, you try to look at the root causes. You break up from the bad relationship or you change job, but it comes back in the next job or next relationship.
You become disciplined. You are consistent with your habits or the version you want to be. None of the solutions bring you joy or peace of mind.
It all comes down to: Do you love yourself?
Loving yourself or learning to love yourself transforms your whole being. You feel lighter; you glow in a different way. Your inner love is felt by everyone around you.
And no, it is not easy to choose yourself and to love yourself. We've been taught to love others, our parents, our siblings, our friends, our teachers, etc.. but we were never taught to love ourselves.
You try to fix the issue.
You try to be a better partner. You have a longer checklist before dating. You change job. You learn new skills to impress your boss.
Unfortunately, it only lasts so long.
You go analyse your feelings and emotions.
What does the situation bring up in you? What does it make you envy?
You might even find the issues and work on it. But it comes back.
The root cause is that you don't love yourself.
You try to blame the person /the situation causing you the pain.
Blame the partner who treats you wrong. Blame the boss who keeps increasing your workload.
Blaming others might lesser the pain for a moment, but it comes back.
Ever heard of the quote, "What we resist, persists."
I've been that person. I still am. I still working on learning to love myself, every single bit of me.
I want you to know that you are not alone. It might feel overwhelming, but you are not alone.
Stop resisting. Take a pause. Breathe. And accept to love yourself.
Accept yourself for who you are. - Who you are are in all your little habits, quirks, in the little smiles, in the laughter. Don't overthink it. I know it is an unknown term for our ancestors or even past generations, but we live a different reality. You are unique, you are meant to shine.
Enjoy the process of becoming you. Letting go of the old you and letting you be. - This can be hard as we have to let go of our comfort. You will unconsciously hold on to your old self. You've grown attached to how you are, how you react, how you respond. Even if these ways do not serve you, you are attached to it. It is your comfort zone. There may be inner conflicts between the old you and emerging you, which will pull you back and forth. Be compassionate and kind with yourself, gently let go of the things that do not serve you anymore.
Your perception of you and your reality will start to swift, however your mind remembers another reality/ the old you. Allow yourself time to accept the new perception, be in the present moment. With repetition of the new reality, your mind will accept. Your mind responds to the pictures in your head and the words you say to yourself.
The new you has always been within you, in all the ways that presented yourself. So it is not really the new you, it is just the you who was hiding in a corner.
Shine light on yourself, love yourself. Accept yourself. Let go of things that do not serve you. Let YOU be.
And, take the time to celebrate yourself for giving you the space to re-discover yourself.