Updated: May 24
I silence others, I turn up the volume of my inner voice, intuition and gut feeling.
I know myself best, even when in doubt.
Throughout my life, I realized how much we tend to seek advice from others and we deny ourselves the task of finding our own solutions. When we keep seeking validations / advices / confirmations from others, we are actually silencing our inner voice, heart, mind and soul. We silence the voice that knows the true answer. We silence our hearts, the one that knows the way.
The person to whom you ask for advice could be your biggest supporter or well-wisher, but their advice will undeniable be biased as their life experiences and reality differ from yours. Their advice could be the best advice for them, but the worst one for you as their life path is unique and different, and so is yours. You are unique, you are your own person.
I understand that it is comforting to tell someone about your confusion and issues, to speak it out and get the satisfaction that the person understands what you are going through. Speaking out on our emotions or issues brings a certain level of relief to our mental health. However the issue arises when you expect that person to give you solutions and that you expect that the solution they provide will solve all your issues.
But by doing this, you are indirectly telling ourselves “I can’t take a decision on my own”. This is the point at which the point of view of others becomes louder and more powerful than our own voice and intuition. More often than not, we always know what we want but we refuse to believe it or acknowledge it.
I went through this multiple times in my life. The issue was that I was too busy considering others’ decision and desires for me, that I silenced my intuition. I always followed what others wanted me to do and lived through the consequences. These consequences were not always happy ones. So a year ago, I decided to change that. I had been getting signs for years that my previous job was not my calling. But I refused to acknowledge it. There was nothing wrong with the job; the pay was fine, the team was amazing, it didn’t bore me and my family liked that I worked there. So I silenced the voice inside of me. Until the voice got stronger and stronger, I couldn’t ignore it anymore. It became clear that this was not what I want for myself. Hence, I started questioning myself and my life. I started questioning the values that I show up as versus the values I actually want to show.
What do I like?
Does this make me happy?
Does this feel right? Does it feel true?
Is this still something that I want?
What do I enjoy doing? (Honestly, I still struggle with this one)
So after a lot of reflection, I quit and started a life coaching certification. And there is so much more that I want to do, so much more I have ever dreamt possible. Even if my decision did not make everyone happy, it was my decision. And, I have never been more at peace with myself.
What I want to say to you and to myself is:
You know yourself best, you are the only person on this Earth that knows what’s best for you. There’s nothing wrong with discussing your issues with someone. But, if someone gives you an advice, don’t consider it as your only solution right away. Question it and reflect on how you feel about it. You will be the one living the consequences, so make sure your decisions are right for you, not just right for the other people in your life.
Someone else might have more experience than you, but you have more experience on your life and yourself.
Affirm it with me, say it out loud:
I know myself best. I am the best judge for what’s right and wrong for me. I take decisions that are true to me.
(Say it louder and believe it)